I entered a world, a dimension of intense perceptions.
Every flicker and flutter contained meaning.
Every thought was an event.
There were no boundaries and I was swamped by energies.
I floated out of time and my demons became realities.
They call it madness but there was still a part of my mind questioning, 'what is this?', 'why is this?'
I had been driven by a passionate desire to challenge the world at war and yet also by a yogic philosophy to abandon desire, constantly searching.
I didn't know what to do...so I began to paint.
Ten years later and I still continue to paint and I have expanded my practice from oil painting to organic painting, photography – often of artwork made in nature and then digitally manipulated - sculpture, performance and film making.
Looking back, art has signified a change in me from an analytical, scientific and reductive mindset to a creative, meditative process of thinking. For many years, painting in my studio provided a safe space to open up my mind and contemplate-in-action, as I was unable to continue with traditional spiritual practices. It decluttered my mind from pressing social forces and allowed me to move beyond the political knots of questioning the status capitalist quo by inviting the artistic process to provide insights and direction.
The work has taken many different starting points: the expression of an awkward or uncomfortable feeling; a conceptual enigma or paradox; a facet of my cultural identity; a confrontation with the environmental crisis; a reflection on social relationships. Through a process of travel outside of London, being in nature, grounding myself throughout the day, and inviting the so-called random or accidental, the artwork has emerged, a creative going-with-the-flow.
This process is particularly evident in my more recent film work, which has an intuitive method of shot composition and of editing. I am currently combining film work with painting - making my own eco canvases from forestry sustainable timber and organic cotton canvas, experimenting with making my own organic paints, and filming myself painting.
Some of my major influences have been Russian literature and history – especially Turgenev and Lenin; Aldous Huxley, George Orwell, Graham Greene; Rothko, Picasso, Rodin, Van Gogh, Kandinsky, Miro; Stephen Hawking, David Widgery; James Joyce, Sartre, Adorno, Deleuze and Guattari; Lars von Trier, Frank Herbert; Andy Goldsworthy, Philip Pullman, Chiho Aoshima, Studio Ghibli and Pixar.